Tuesday, 1 April 2014

This Blog is Not Dead, Do Not Long Live The Blog

Just wanted to let my loyal reader know that the blog is still alive and kicking, but I'm trying to keep myself homed at the minute, but that is slipping away from me day by day. 

As a designer and a creative person, it's often the case that you do work with friends on certain projects they're interested in. At this point I have been invested in an advertising life for about 6 years now, and I'm working myself poor. Working poor. Twerking poor?

I like doing fun media projects with friends, but I need to stop working for free. This is getting ridiculous and I'm going broke working all day.

Should I make a crowdfunding project to support my life? What do you think world?

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

A Cover Letter for Under the Covers

As my last post mentioned, I'm desperately seeking employment, as are most of the people I know these days. 

I have a couple of interviews lined up this week for writing positions, which is interesting to me because, despite 5 years education and a paper trail a mile long, I still don't consider myself to be much of a writer. I have a style that I stick to, but I think it's perfect for the current blog writing marketplace. 

Blogs are, for the most part, supposed to be fun and easy to digest, unlike dairy. Dairy is my proverbial bull and I am the china shop. If you're looking for heavy and lengthy there's tons of sites for that too, but I like the fun ones like Buzzfeed and Cracked

I recently applied for a position at my dream company, Sid Lee, again. I've probably applied there like five times in five different ways, so this time I got really creative. 

Sid Lee Montreal
75 Queen St, Montreal, QC H3C 2N6

Re: Position

My dearest Sid Lee,

I’ve watched you from afar for a while now. You don’t know me, but I know you. I’ve seen you grow from a tiny Montreal company, to a worldwide powerhouse, coveted by everyone. You’ve filled out very nicely in the last 20 years.

Word around town is that you’re in bed with Absolut now. That’s great, honestly. I’m happy when you’re happy. I’ll be the first one to say how nice Absolut is and everything (http://coco-moloko.blogspot.ca/2012/10/absolut-spotlight.html), but I can’t help but think that you’d be happier with me instead.

Hear me out baby I got what it takes to treat you right. I have a Diploma and a Degree in Communications with a major in Advertising. In University I learned how to write well. They called me the cunningist linguist in the class, something you can experience first-hand if you call me up, don’t be shy. In College I experimented with Creative Suite, which was as soft as a Cloud but was way too expensive. I don’t mean to be vulgar, Sid, but Adobe taught me how to do things with my hands that I never thought I could possibly do. Give me a chance to show you what I can do with these hands and this mind.

I wrote you a love song. Did you see it? I know I’m not the best singer, but you are my muse. Was I coming on too strong? Too many euphemisms? You can call me a pig Sid, but weren’t you always the one to say "A pig is a filthy animal, but a pig has personality, which goes a long way." Listen to my song babe, if there’s one thing I’m not lacking, its personality.

I just don’t know what I need to do to get your attention. I feel like you’re the most popular one in school, and you don’t even know I exist. That’s why I’m writing you this note, because if Breakfast Club taught me anything (which it didn’t) it’s that you should always try. I got all the qualities you’re looking for; I’m organized, a good team player, and I’m a great listener. I’ll come to your window and blast my love song out of a raised boombox, Say Anything style, just as soon as I can track down a working boombox.

Please Sid, call me so we can talk about this. My number is XXX-XXX-XXXX, and my email is XXXXX@XXXX.COM. I’ll wait by the phone every day for your call.


Do you think I'm gonna get the job?

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Update to End All Updates

Wow, have I been gone a while.

A literal TON of things have been happening to me lately, stealing me away from my precious Milk Bar. 

To name a few:

1) I graduated from a five-year school program and got two shiny pieces of paper
2) I moved to Montreal to pursue my medium-sized city dreams
3) I won a big contest/monetary award. More info here
4) I got to see BEYONCE!!! We were legit like 4 rows away from her, and it was that concert where she got her hair stuck in the fan. Unbe-weave-able!
5) I went to Europe for a month and basically went everywhere in the west and centre and it was fabulous
6) My mom came to visit me in Montreal, which was just super

But now I am at a crossroads. Basically I need a job yesterday. 
I'm calling out to you readers (reader?).

Playse help.
Looking for work in the Communications/Advertising industry (everyone: "duh") in Montreal.
I will work for almost nothing, but a girl's gotta eat. 
And I eat a lot. Like, Jabba the Hutt levels. 

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Some More Great Old Sexist Ads

These never get old, except for everything about them.

I know that having messy hair also makes me want to kill myself, but I usually don't use a noose, some poison and a gun to do it. Points to this messy haired gal for making sure she does it right the first time.

"Be the you he likes", not that terrible gorilla beast you become when you have cramps. Midol helps you "soothe accompanying irritability" that is inherent to every woman on all the periods she has in her life forever.

Housewives get tired of "having to do the same dull work every day" so much that it's a "mild form of torture"! Being a housewife makes any lady experience "boredom and emotional fatigue", whatever that is. It's definitely not a rewarding and life-altering experience for any gal, and surely a man isn't going to "make beds and get meals", no sir! 

This ad isn't so bad to me because it looks like it was made a long time ago, before the invention of photography. Nevertheless, back then there were 5 million women who wanted to get married. Listerine spent millions of dollars and many years asking every female on the planet if it was true. They all agreed that their main purpose in life was to find a man, marry him, and never be irritable or bored. 

Aww, the Volkswagon is dented! Look how sad it looks. Someone must have let a woman drive it! Everyone knows that ladies get flustered and overwhelmed when they have to do two things at once, like press a gas pedal and turn a steering wheel. She was probably applying lipstick at the time or lighting a menthol cigarette. The first line of the copy says "Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things." Truer words were never spoken. 

Women of the future will make the Moon a cleaner place to live. Thankfully, future technologies are in place so that women can keep the Moon sparkling clean. They also must adhere to strict safety measures like wearing a space helmet that stops at the neck, and wearing lots of mascara to deflect glare. Hands do not need to be covered on the Moon to allow for better scrubbing. 


New ideas are scary. 

Thursday, 11 April 2013

New Arrested Development Posters

OMGOMGOMG look! I can't believe it's actually happening!


Love everything about this, especially the ice cream sandwich.
Season 4, yay!

Sunday, 7 April 2013

Could a Viral Video be the Resume of the Future?

I just graduated from a 5 year Communications program a few days ago, I'll be getting both a degree and a diploma with my very own name on it.

But now comes the most dreaded time of any student's life, the time when you must go free into the world and try to get a job. It's no secret that it's tough to get a job in the current marketplace because it's hard to make yourself stand out from the crowd.

I've tossed a resume or two in Sid Lee's direction, but I didn't hear anything back, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.. and put a ukulele in them.

I've sent it to the HR person and now am just sitting back and waiting for the video to reach 1 million views. 

If I get a job from this the world will never be the same probably.

Friday, 5 April 2013

Queen Bey

Beyonce released a teaser a few days ago, it goes a little something like this
Amazing right? And no explanation given. A few days late this commercial came out
Love it, love her, love everything about this.

And as if we're doing teaser trailers for commercials now, what a world we live in. I bow down to Beyonce, gon' wit chyo bad self guuurrrlll.